You Gotta Work, Bitch.

Gotta love me some Britney Spears.

Back in the era when I was hip-hop dancing and clubbing in Hollywood (I really, truly, just wanted to be a backup dancer for pop stars), Britney gave me everything: the beat, the attitude, and most important—the cowbell. ;)

She and I are both in our mid-40s now, and though it’s my strange fantasy to do a choreographed dance number with her, I suspect she might feel the same way I do these days: sure . . . but let’s not have anyone actually watch or film it.

Recently I took the Values Bridge assessment by Suzy Welch in my ongoing quest to figure out what I want to be when I grow up. I have to confess I expected “Affluence” to rank pretty high (aka, acquiring wealth). When I was twelve, a talent scout came to our dance school promoting a New York workshop. He asked us the usual cliché question: What do you want to be when you grow up?

I said, without hesitation, “I want to make a lot of money.”

For a long time I didn’t tell anyone that. For a period of my life, wanting money felt . . . so sinful. So thank you, Suzy Welch, for de-judging that for me.

It’s not like I had some sophisticated understanding of wealth. I just knew that growing up, my dad was the rural doctor in town who did well, and our family went on yearly vacations at a time when nobody was comparing spring break trips or European summers on Instagram. I knew we were comfortable. I wanted to be comfortable.

And like many of you, I followed the roadmap.

Get good grades.

Go to college.

Choose a safe career that makes decent money.

Originally, I wanted to be a sports psychologist. But religion and fear of instability nudged me down a different path—medicine. To be fair, psychiatry still fit my fascination with the mind-

body connection. What I didn’t know then was that I was stepping into the corporate world of medicine.

So I worked. And worked. And worked.

Eventually I “arrived.”

The money.

The kids.

The house.

The travel.

The designer jeans.

No Bugatti, Britney. I do, however, want to party in France for my daughter's 18th birthday this December.

What I love about Britney’s famous line—“You better work, bitch”—is that buried inside that feminist pop anthem is a brutal kind of honesty. She lists all the things you supposedly want: the cars, the lifestyle, the glamour.

What she doesn’t say outright is the obvious question:

What are you giving up to get it?

Because I gave up a lot.

I gave up time.

I gave up pieces of my values.

I gave up things that made me feel most alive.

All while breathing in the air of a world that constantly wants the money I make to be spent on them. On their products.

Recently, I came across a question from financial educator Vivian Tu that stopped me in my tracks:

Do I want this, or do I want people to know that I have this?

One of my core values is aesthetics. I’m what Suzy Welch calls a “beholderist.” I like beautiful things. For years we literally had the “Audi fund,” because I thought an Audi was the prettiest car and maybe, just maybe, it would make me feel slightly less like a total dweeb pulling up to school pickup.

Eventually I got a little smarter about money (finally!).

And I realized: oh hell no.

Forget the Bugatti. I feel perfectly fine, safe, and satisfied in anything that gets me from point A to point B in the cheapest, ugliest, possible way.

Which brings me back to Britney.

It’s cool to work, bitch.

But for who?

It better be for yourself.

For what makes you feel alive.

For what actually aligns with your values.

Otherwise you’re just cutting through life on someone else’s roadmap, pouring your energy—and your money—into someone else’s bank account.

If you’re not sure where to start, maybe begin by deleting your social media.

Then ask yourself one simple question:

Will this actually make me happier, healthier, or more alive?

With each draft of your life, I hope that answer becomes More clear. More easy.

More you.

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